Schizoid
by Death By Segway Scooter
Summary: Scourge's luck never was all that good to begin with. And it's just about to get even worse...


**Legal Schtick:** I own no characters here. None. Well, maybe that miscellaneous guy on the bike. But other than that, no other characters described here are mine. Hasbro/Takara owns 'em...I just write about 'em, 'cause I'm crazy like dat. (Boy that last line sounded fake...but I digress...) 

Schizoid

_"Man...I'm so tired of this."_

"What're you complainin' about now?"

"This bein' stuck together slag. I want out, already! I'm tired of always havin' to agree with you to get this guy to go somewheres."

"Oh yeah? You got any bright ideas to get us separated?!"

"Uhhh...well... I do...yeah, sure..."

"Yeah right. What?"

"Um, can I get back to you on that one?"

"I figured as much. Y'know, 'Warp, I don't like this whole situation anymore than you do. But you know what? We don't have a choice! There's no way to get us separated unless of course, you have the guy ask someone to cut him in half..."

"Hey! That just might work!"

"Urrrgh! No it won't! I was just throwing it out as an example!"

"Oh..."

"Look...we're stuck like this until this guy dies. And with his luck, that won't be long. We can't do a thing about it, so just accept it. It's fate, or something."

"But...but...! I don't wanna! I mean, Megatron didn't wind up stuck to anybody! Why does he get to have everything?!"

"I dunno, 'Warp, maybe because the universe doesn't hate him as much as it hates us?!

"Primus dammit, TC! That giant planet-eating thing really screwed us over!"

"Well, duh...it WAS Unicron. What do you expect from a guy like that?"

"Waitasec...I think I got something..."

It was then that Scourge abruptly woke up. His awakening was quite forceful as well. He nearly jumped as he sat up, and the recharge cable was actually yanked out of his back. He felt cold. If he was able to, he would have broken out in a cold sweat. He was rapidly taking in and expelling air through his vents on his upper back.

After he managed to calm down, he leaned against the nearest wall in his usual corner of the empty room and stared blankly into space. The only light that ever came through to the room was through a single, small, dirty window on one wall. But he didn't care about lighting...in fact, he preferred the room dark. He had been resting on a cold, flat metal floor, but he didn't care much about that either. He couldn't fit in the C/R chambers thanks to his wings. It's not like it mattered much anyway; he didn't need as much fuel as everyone else.

What he did care about were these disturbing dreams. He had them every once in a while, but they still bothered him all the same. Nothing exactly happened in the dreams. He saw nothing but black. However, he always heard these voices...two of them. One had some weird "tough-guy" accent and the other sounded very gruff. The first voice was almost always complaining to the second about something Scourge simply could not understand. The second voice would simply be telling the first one to be quiet. And if and when the conversations got really heated, Scourge would wind up waking up. He would only hear these voices in his dreams, thank goodness, but the very fact that he heard them anyway bothered him to no end.

The strangest part was that he seemed to recognize these voices. It's like he knew who they belonged to, but couldn't exactly pinpoint it. When he would try, he'd suddenly get the strange idea that they were his own voice. But that had to be impossible. Not only did his vocalizer not sound like either of those voices, but how could somebody have two voices? That didn't make any sense whatsoever. But then again, a lot of things didn't make sense to him anymore.

He dared not tell anyone about these dreams or the voices. Otherwise, the other Decepticons simply would brand him insane like Galvatron. That was the last thing he wanted right now.

Well, perhaps he _was_ going mad. After all, he also received an upgrade from Unicron, just like Galvatron had.

No, no... He wasn't like that. It had to be something else. Maybe it was just stress giving him bad dreams.

He picked himself up out of the floor and left his room. There was no one in the hallway and he was glad. He didn't feel like seeing let alone talking to anyone, anyway. He was still groggy from rest and unsettled from that dream. He slowly shuffled down the hallway, leaning on a wall.

In the distance, he heard the murmur of a TV. Someone had left their door open, it seemed.

Suddenly, a familiar enraged roar made him jump off the wall. It was loud, thunderous, and a bit nasaly. Galvatron was somewhere nearby, and if Scourge didn't want to get his wings pulled off, punched, kicked, speared by sharp headgear, shot, or a combination of all of those, he had make himself as scarce as possible.

He stayed off the wall and stepped very carefully, testing each metal tile to make sure it didn't squeak. He carried on in this fashion until he came upon the open door. He heard no more angry outbursts anymore. Perhaps whatever was bothering Galvatron was over now. Or maybe he was having a bad dream. Or perhaps some idiot was trying out his best Galvatron impression to his buddies. If the latter was the case, Scourge so wanted to find that skidplate and carve his name on their back with his claws. Part of him said that wasn't the best course of action, but his irritability was winning this round.

Just to be on the safe side, he carefully peered into the doorway of the open room. After all, you never know...

And he was right. He realized that has he felt his mech fluid run cold. Inside the room, he saw Galvatron sitting in a chair, scowling at the TV. On TV was some Terran program. A bunch of random humans were reminiscing about some movie. A moment later, the show went to commercial, but not before it announced its title: "I Love the 80's."

Scourge heard his superior snarl as he changed the channel.

"The 80's, as the humans call it..." Galvatron audibly growled to himself. "What was so great about that time period? All I did then was either get my skidplate handed to me by the Autobots thanks to some schemes that even I think are hairbrained now, or sit around and do nothing...!"

The Sweep nearly fell down when he saw Galvatron smack himself over the head.

"Primus dammit! What _was_ I thinking?!"

With all the gloating and carrying on Scourge had seen his commander do in the past, he would have never guessed how little Galvatron actually thought of himself.

But it's not like he had time to process that. Another angry roar rang out, making him jump a mile. Panicked, he ran down the hall. Part of him was screaming to stop running and keep quiet, because what if someone heard him? But the part that screamed at him to run like Hell definitely won this time.

He made it all the way down to the end of the hall and practically leaped around the corner. He plastered himself against the wall and tried to listen over the din of his vents as they rapidly circulated air in and out in order to cool down his systems. Fortunately, he didn't hear the sound of thunderous footsteps coming his way, nor any familiar angry nasally voices shouting threats at him. Galvatron either hadn't seen him at all, or just didn't care. So he was safe...at least for now.

He slowly turned and walked down the next hall toward the building's exit. He needed to go somewhere...anywhere. From all these disturbing dreams and panic attacks, he felt like he was going to crack up. And while it was true that many misfortunes had befallen him before, going insane and winding up like Galvatron was the last thing he wanted to have happen to him.

He walked slowly, with one hand on the wall to his right to keep his balance. He felt like a total wreck this morning, moreso than usual. Right now, half of him felt like he should be happy or at least a little relieved that Galvatron had not seen or chashed him. The other half scolded him for running away like that. If he hadn't, he would have never needed to worry about getting caught and beat up. And all of it was giving him a nasty headache.

For some reason, he thought about the show that Galvatron had been watching. While he did find it a bit strange that the city commander would be at all interested enough to watch a Terran program for any length of time, he reminded himself that who knows what was going on in said commander's head. Whatever it was, he just prayed it wasn't anything like his recent experiences...

Now what was that show about...? Something about humans remembering some decade they label "the 80's." The 80's...let's see... Yes, he remembered that decade as well. He never really tried to before; after all, reminiscing was never really relevant to him. But he did remember that time period the humans talked about.

It was a very short, but nonetheless quite important time. It was when the Cybertronians on Earth finally awoke from their eons long stasis lock. It was when they started battling on Earth. And it was the beginning of the downfall of the Decepticons.

But what was he himself doing during that time period? He thought for a minute. Well, there was that one time Megatron had built that high-powered laser on a Terran pyramid, and Starscream kept trying to get him in trouble. He remembered that Starscream managed to succeed, and getting being pushed down a long series of stone steps...

No...wait a second... That was someone else. He remembered being on at the top of the pyramid and watching somebody fall down the stairs.

No, hold on! That _was_ him! He remembered how much it hurt. But then, why did he remember that other guy that got knocked off the pyramid? Did Megatron push somebody else off too? If he did, Scourge couldn't remember why...Starscream wasn't angry at anyone else, as far as he knew...

He remembered that later on he even tried to get back at Starscream for getting him in trouble. But wait...if he remembered that so vividly, then why did he also remember getting called to assist Megatron and leaving the pyramid altogether equally vividly? They happened at about the same time. And he couldn't have been in two places at once. None of this was making any sense!

He decided to move on. As much as he didn't want to, he started recalling the events a year and a half ago...the devastating attack on Autobot City, and the reason he wound up like he was now. He remembered getting taken out of the sky in jet mode by some potent projectile that the desperate Autobots had been firing from a catapault. He received much more damage on the way down.

No, wait a minute! He also remembered getting shot up by Prime in robot mode. And at that time he was in top condition! He got shot in the chest, in a leg, and in a wing. The former couldn't have happened before the latter. He wouldn't have been able to go into jet mode to get hit by the catapault!

He tried other memories: the time Megatron was trying to rebuild New York...the time they found the strange race of amphibious Terrans under the ocean...the time they nearly got rid of the Autobots by getting them banished from Earth and sending them into the sun... the time in Mozambique with the octopus and that strange human that kept dropping by to yell, "Hey Steve!"... Every memory turned out the same. He seemed to be in two places at once. He had been in the air while on the ground shooting. He had been inside the base while outside of it. He had been listening to either Starscream or Megatron rant and rave while not even being in the same part of the base to hear it! Everything was wrong!

Scourge slapped himself in the forehead. What was going on here? Why weren't his memories making any sense? Why did he always seem to be in two places at once? Could Unicron have somehow messed with his memory banks? Did he accidentally download a computer virus that totally garbled up his processor?

He kept shuffling on, practically in a daze. Things were going from bad to worse, as usual. He passed other Decepticons in the hallway, but paid no attention to them. He didn't even bother to see who they were. That is, until someone yelled, "HEY BOSS!"

Completely caught off guard, Scourge let out a loud yelp and fell to the floor. Ignoring the snickers down the hall at his little folly, he looked up to see who it was. It was a Sweep, Tetsuya, and one of the only two sentient ones. He was easy to pick out from his replicants; he was much shorter, and his lower legs were large and heavily armored all around. He was smirking at Scourge, obviously trying not to laugh at him.

The Sweep commander shook off the haze of his memory problem and glared at his subordinate. "What is it, Tetsuya?!" he barked.

"Well, gee boss...you're walkin' around like you're about to have a core attack," Tetsuya said. "I was just wonderin' if you were okay."

Scourge felt a little better upon hearing this and picked himself up. "Well, I'm just fine, thank you," he said.

"Yeah, 'cause...if you really were gonna have a core attack," Tetsuya continued, "I wanted to know if I could have your stereo!" He let out a quiet but obnoxious laugh.

Unable to think of a good comeback, Scourge just shot the Sweep a dirty look. Tetsuya acknowledged this and said, "What'cha doin' now, boss? Tryin' to break my optics with your ugliest face?" He started laughing again, this time louder.

Scourge was a bit taken aback by that remark. While it was true that neither original Sweep had a ton of respect for him, they were hardly open about it like Tetsuya was doing now. Perhaps Tetsuya had seen Scourge's rather ill state and thought that the Sweep commander wouldn't be able to reprimand him?

The best Scourge could do at this stage was snap, "Like you should talk! Do I need to remind you that we all look identical, at least in the faceplates?!"

"Not in my case, boss!" Tetsuya replied, sporting a weasely smirk. "Even as a Sweep, I'm _still_ the cute one!" He turned to a nearby semi-transparent window and gave his faint reflection a thumbs-up.

Scourge was so irritated at this point he felt like skinning Tetsuya alive. And doing it very slow and in the most painful way possible. He was actually shaking and rubbing his claws together. But then, a different feeling washed over him, and his rage mostly subsided. Instead he asked, "'Still' the cute one? Say...Tetsuya, do you remember much before the big incident?"

Tetsuya stopped posing. "The big wha-?"

"You know, the attack one Autobot City and Unicron and all that. You remember much before that?"

"'Course I do, boss. No one really knows about it, but I gotta great memory. I can practically name you all the things I've eaten in the past few millenia!"

"That's...that's nice, but what I really want to know is... Do your memories ever get confused?"

"Confused? Like how?"

"Like you remember doing something when you weren't there, or seeing something when you really couldn't have. You know, like they run together."

"Uh...sometimes."

"Really?"

"Yeah like once, I coulda swore I actually ate a cow. Thing is, Shrapnel says he was there with me the _whole_ time, and even though we were hangin' around a farm, I didn't eat no cow. And yet, I coulda swore to Primus I did. Weird, huh?"

"Oh...that's all?"

"Yeah, yeah...pretty much. How, come boss?"

"Oh...well... It's nothing. Stupid question, actually. I...I think I need some air..." Scourge turned around and walked down the short distance to the door.

"Damn, what's eatin' him today?" Tetsuya mumbled to himself. "Certainly ain't me. Maybe my face joke was just a _little_ over the top...?

"...

"...NAH."

---

_"'Warp, what the Pit were you thinking today?! You just take over my side of the body without warning and make the guy run off?! Did you **want** to get us in trouble, or did you plan for it?! Do you realize what horn-head woulda done to us if he decided to come after us?!"_

"TC, that's stupid little scene's in the past now. Let it go, for Primus' sake! We got bigger issues...!"

"Yeah?! Like what?! Not having Galvatron tear this guy apart in the most painful way possible sounds like a big enough issue to me!"

"Well, it just so happens that I think I've finally figured out a way to get us separate again!"

"What?! Ohhhh...now you're starting to sound like ol' horn-head... I know I shouldn't ask what your hairbrained scheme is but I know you'll wind up saying it an-"

"Unicron made us like this, right?"

"No, a gang of drunken petrorabbits did. Of **course** Unicron made us like this!"

"Well then he's gonna be the one to fix it!"

"'Warp...you **do** know that Unicron's dead right?"

"'Course I do...but do you remember the interstellar news last week?"

"Yeah...that's another time we **watched** Galvs watching TV..."

"Anyway, it said that a big portion of his body landed on this huge planet that's not too far away!"

"His body...? What does his body have to do with anything?"

"Well, we've already been inside his head once. I didn't see any kind of reformatting apparatuses in there..."

"Yeah, but how do you explain Starscream gettin' his body back then?"

"Naw...that was more of a matter synthesizin' machine. I checked it out when this guy was in there. And like I said, I didn't see any kinda system that had any real upgrade function in the head."

"So we check the body for one. Is that what you're saying?"

"Yup! We look for the system that made us like this in the first place. Then, we make it separate us! How does that sound?"

"So we just make it turn us back to normal, huh? Well, 'Warp, there's actually one thing I liked about this body...it can actually stand a few hits from Galvatron's plasma cannon without becomin' slag. But if we go back to normal...forget it. We're **dead** plain an' simple."

"Normal? I didn't say anything about going back to our old bodies. I just said we make it separate us..."

"So we'll stay reformatted, so to speak?"

"Uh-huh. Besides, who's to say we can't upgrade ourselves a little more after that huh? Maybe make us stronger than ol' Galvsey? Huh? Heheh..."

"Now you're just getting rediculous. First of all, you do remember that when Unicron died, he **exploded**, right?"

"'Course I do."

"So...don't you think that if for some reason his refomatting system was actually in his body somewhere, it would've gotten blown up, too?!"

"But TC, don't you remember how the inside of the head was? It was fine, and it was also in the explosion! Don'tcha think maybe the inside of the body's fine too?"

"That's true, but here's another thing...the body landed on that planet out there. That means that it would've had to go through the planet's atmosphere first, which would've burned the slag out of it. After that, it would've crashed. I ain't no physicist, but I do know that 'Cron's body would've made a huge impact. So if hypothetical upgrader thing didn't get burned up, it probably woulda broke in the crash. And THEN you said that you saw it on the news last week. So if anything was left, it probably got pillaged already!"

"Slaggit, TC! You're such a downer! This could be our only chance to get free and you're turnin' your nose up at it! Don'tcha wanna at least **try** it? I mean, there'd be no harm in just tryin'..."

"I just don't think it'll work, Skywarp. You're so desperate to get separated, you ain't thinkin' clearly. I mean, the odds are really stacked against us here...we're not even sure this thing exists!"

"Well, it's gotta exist...otherwise we wouldn't be havin' this conversation."

"Alright, alright! It probably does exist. But even if, by some miracle, it was okay, and we got there...what would we know what to look for? And if we found it, how would we know how to work it? What if we press the wrong button, or something and wind up even worse?"

"Well, you do remember how easy it was to reactivate Unicron and install those eyes, right? I'm sure this'll be just as easy. C'mon, let's just go check! You never know what we might find..."

"Alright, fine! You'll probably keep naggin' me until I give in, anyway! But just know that I **don't** think this is a good idea!"

"...Tsk! You're so tense alluva sudden, TC. No wonder this guy spazzes so much..."

---

Scourge found himself getting up much earlier than he usually did, and heading off to some nearby planet. He didn't really remember why; he just knew that he had to. It must have been for some very important reason, because he didn't even acknowledge the consequences for sneaking off when he left. He simply went to the room, made sure nobody was around, transformed, and flew off without a hitch. Even now, the punishment for going off on his own seemed so trivial right now.

He had even had one of those disturbing dreams again last night, although he couldn't remember what either voice was talking about. In fact, it was the very reason he had woke up so early. But that didn't seem to be of any importantance either. In all actuality, he had pretty much forgotten he had even had it.

He did at least remember where he was going. It was a very large planet not too far off from Charr. Its terrain was an odd combination of desert and rain forest. But what was so important about this place was that most of Unicron's body had recently landed there.

He also remembered that getting to the body was extremely important. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why it was. What did the body have to offer? The head had Unicron's consciousness, programming, and everything, but the body was pretty much scrap metal. Besides, wouldn't it have been burned up in the atmosphere, or lie in millions of pieces from the crash? Despite all this, he felt he still had to check it out. Even though logic had just dictated it the whole thing pointless, he knew he needed to go there...badly. It was like something in the back of his mind kept relentlessly commanding him to do it.

The planet in question was just coming into view. Scourge immediately stopped thinking about why or why not he should make this trip and threw on his scanners. Now, all he had to do was scan for a very large crater...

---

Meanwhile, on the planet's surface, an indigenous man crossed a wide expanse of scrub brush and sand on his hover bike. He was on his way to the local marketplace. Halfway there, he had to steer his bike upward to climb a new hill of sand. This hill had been made a short while ago when..._something_ had fallen from the sky.

No one was really sure what it was. By just looking into the crater, they could all tell that it was some gigantic structure made out of metal. It definitely wasn't your normal meteorite. But just looking at it made everyone nervous, for some reason. Nobody knew why. It was as if this thing was some sort of bad omen. And the problem was that this feeling of fear grew stronger as people got closer to it. Something about this meteor repelled everyone and everything. Not even animals would get close to it.

He knew it all himself; he once tried to venture down into the crater. It started out as nervousness and bad vibes just like now, as he passed it. But has he stepped down into the sand, he suddenly felt his blood run cold, like in the presence of enemies. As he pressed on, he almost thought he heard a deep voice say to him, "Stay away..." He thought it had been the wind at first, but as he progressed further, the voice got louder. It got so loud, it had literally made his ears ring. He was not even halfway down when he wound up running away in terror. He had been freezing cold as if it were winter, and he had felt this great fear, as if someone was just about to jump out and kill him.

The very few brave souls who ventured all the way down to the bottom claimed the structure was shaped like a body. It had leg and arm-like appendages, and the main building was sculpted to look like a torso. There was even something that jutted out of the "shoulder" that resembled a wing. However, it was missing one of its arms and a head, which they think it may have lost as it went through the atmosphere or the crash. But whether it did or didn't they never found out. The feeling of oppression was so powerful, it was almost like a physical force was pushing them away or trying to suffocate them. One person denounced the structure as "haunted."

For all this, the rider did not even look at the metorite as he went by. Just passing by it made him shiver. He tried to keep his eyes focused on the horizon. He suddenly spotted an airship flying overhead. He then tried to concentrate on that and not the crater beside him.

As he watched the airship, he suddenly noticed it was getting bigger-it was coming in for a landing. But wait, out here? There were no landing pads out here that he knew of, and no airship pilot in their right mind would try to land on the ground unless they wanted to get their engines full of sand and scrub.

But when this flying object came clearly into view, the rider immediately stopped his bike. Wait...this thing wasn't an airship at all. At least, it didn't look like one; it looked like a modified hoverboat. But a hoverboat couldn't fly-not like this one was!

The bizarre craft had now changed its course. It had sharply veered off to his right and was coming down fast...

...It was heading straight into the crater!

The man forgot his fear of looking at the meteor and hopped off his hoverbike. He watched with great interest as the strange vessel began to land by the forbidden structure.

What happened next made him totally lose his balance and fall down out of disbelief. Just as it was about to land, the hovercraft's bow split into and became a giant humaniod creature with wings! He couldn't see its features very well from this distance, but he easily made out its shape and estimated its height. He watched in awe as the avian seemed to just stare at the cursed meteor for a few minutes before actually going inside it.

"...A demon...? Is that what that thing was...?" he mumbled to himself. "...The meteor _is_ haunted!"

But in all his fear, he didn't move. He simply stayed put in the sand and watched. He wanted to see specifically what would happen next. It seemed completely illogical to do so, even to him, but he just wanted to see it for himself...

---

Scourge had easily found the crash site-it was so huge, he couldn't miss it! It had landed in a remote part of a large desert. This was fortunate; if it had been in a city or an otherwise highly populated area, he would have had natives to deal with. Even more fortunate was that he had found no excavation equipment-or any kind of equipment, for that matter-around or in the crater. The natives had, for whatever reason, left Unicron's body alone. He did wonder why at first, but ultimately he didn't care. The only signs of life he picked up remotely near the crash site were a few indigenous animals. Perfect.

He hastily flew down to the planet, over the desert, and into the deep crater. He usually never went this fast before, but for some reason he did now. It was like he wanted to check out the remains as soon as possible. He transformed as he landed, just outside the wreckage of the body.

He quickly started scanning the giant structure for damage. There was so much, but he only bothered with the torso. He had the feeling that whatever he was here for, it most likely was located in there, and even more likely, the chest area.

The results were somewhat surprising. Most of the damage was old, probably from the explosion a year and a half ago. The only new damage he found that came from crashing here was the removal of some of the paint job and some moderate damage to the empty arm socket and the side it was lying on now. Even then, almost all of the damage was to the outer shell. But then again, if Unicron could have devoured planets without burning his mouthparts in their atmosphere, and explode with minimal damage to the inside of his cranial unit, you'd expect these kind of results.

Now on to what he was looking for. He suddenly remembered what it was...Unicron's reformatting system. He scanned the chest area, specifically, near the core. A suspicious series of black boxes were found surrounding the cracked core. That was probably it.

Just as he was about to find an entrance leading directly into the core vicinity, he stopped himself. The reformatting system? Was that what he came here for-to reformat himself again? That's odd...he thought he would have planned this whole thing out far in advance. Of course he wanted the obvious-to be stronger than Galvatron. But he didn't even know what he wanted to look like! This was all incredibly strange...

But then, an awful feeling washed over him. Something...some part of his subconscious was screaming to stop stalling and go up there. It was so powerful, it almost sounded like an audiable voice. He dared think it was louder than Galvatron in a bad mood. It actually made him fall to his knees and hold his head in pain.

The pain suddenly subsided. He was able to stand back up, but he leaned on part of the wreck for stability.

_What **was** that?_ Scourge thought. _I remember Unicron used to give Galvatron migranes whenever he refused to obey...is this what's happening to me? Did Unicron lead me here for some reason?_

No. The answer just seemed to come to him. Unicron had no active part in this, it was simply for his own sake. But if this was his own doing, then why had he never planned any of this beforehand? It's like he just came here on instinct. Some other part of him told him to worry about it later, and to just go in. It didn't give him another migrane, but it was firm enough.

He scanned for a hole leading directly to the core, or just the fastest way there at least. He found one through a cracked window in the breastplate. He climbed up and crawled inside.

The interior of the body seemed a bit more damaged than the interior of the head was. Still, he hoped the reformatting system was still mostly intact. He made his way through the jungle of loose cables, wrecked plating, and standing fluids. The path he found fortunately lead directly to the core, so he didn't have work very much to get there. The toughest thing he had to do was claw through a few stubborn thick, plated wires that were blocking the path.

When he made it there, he felt a little disheartened. The bizarre series of interconnected red spheres had been mostly destroyed, no doubt from the explosion. The core's energy was probably what powered the reformatting system; without it, this whole trip would have been in vain. But just to be sure, he glanced around for those suspicious black boxes again, and hopefully, a core cell that hadn't been destroyed.

He found the boxes a short walk to his right. They didn't seem to have much damage: just a few burn marks in the back, probably from the cells exploding from behind.

Now for the power source. He quickly looked around to see what the boxes were connected to. Unfortunately, they were all plugged into core cells that had either been burnt out or destroyed. Great.

But perhaps they could be redirected to a cell that still functioned? It worked when he had reactivated Unicron...

He scanned around for an active cell. There happened to be one right above him that was still active. It was a bit live, however. If he was going to reroute the reformatter to this one, he would have to be careful so that he wouldn't electrocute himself. It's not like he had much of a choice here, either. The nearest active power cells were too weak, and the stongest cells were...well, the one above him pretty much _was_ the strongest one!

Scourge stepped behind the boxy system and carefully removed the cables from the power cell shafts. Surprisingly, there wasn't many. Unfortunately, they were thick cables, and trying to stick them into a volatile cell would probably prove a problem. Regardlessly, he glided up to the large cell and carefully tried to guide the wires into the shafts. He slid most of them in, no problem at all. The last few were a bit trickier because they were so thick, he had to slide them into individual shafts. But they went in, no hitch. One gave off a few sparks, but he didn't receive any damage, thankfully.

He thought he had it made until the last one. Then his bad luck caught up with him. After he slid the final cable into its terminal, a flash of light and an electrical surge through his system knocked him flat on the floor. On his face.

Scourge groggily picked himself up, but at least found that his luck wasn't so bad after all. Right before him, the cubic terminals were all humming to life. A monitor even activated itself.

He rushed to the screen, only to find out that perhaps his luck wasn't so _good_ after all, either. There were words, instructions, data, and everything on the screen...but they were all in archaic Cybertronian. So even if this was the reformatting system, he couldn't tell; he couldn't read it.

Or could he? Some of the words did look familiar. That was strange, as he couldn't remember ever taking a course in ancient Cybertronian languages. No wait...he did. He took one course in it, but that was it. Hold on a minute...that was impossible! He hadn't been to that academy...or had he?

The hovercraft smacked himself in the forehead. No was no time for reminiscing, especially if his memories constantly clashed. He focused on reading the words. He spotted the word "Iianzza." Translated literally, it meant "enhancer." Enhancer, was it? This probably was the reformatter then. Maybe.

He carefully tried to read the text again. If he understood any of this right, then he had to press the screen to continue. Then, he had to upload his schematics into the computer somehow. It said how in there, but he couldn't understand it. After that, the system was supposed to compute the best upgrades for his form, or something like that. If he wanted to make any custom changes, there was a way he could, but he didn't know what this series of words meant. It sounded like "list of mutations," or something. At the very bottom of the screen, it said the system was set to automatic, but there was some sort of problem. He would have to push some big button first.

Of course, that led him to wonder what big button it was talking about. He saw no buttons-at least large ones, perse-around. Maybe he mistranslated it?

Whatever the case, he pressed the screen anyway. After all, he had both reactivated his host's head and re-installed his eyes not to long ago, and they had both been rediculously easier than they sounded. Maybe this would be the same, too.

...That was odd, he seemed to remember thinking that earlier, and not when he came up with the idea of rerouting the system. He caught this odd feeling of deja-vu, and he wasn't even sure why.

The monitor loaded a different screen this time. Some of it was particularly unreadable, but something in the corner caught his eye. It said something like, "most recent specimen that received heavy alterations." As far as he knew, Scourge and several other Decepticons were the last "specimen" that Unicron "altered." Maybe his data was already in the system, and he could skip figuring out how to upload it? Worth a try.

He touched the screen. Immediately, a new screen came up with loads of text. He narrowed his optics and tried to read it. The content was, to say the least, weird. It sounded like an actual report that Unicron was making about how he changed these creatures. At first, it kept making references to a "dire, froward argentine beast donning a blocky carapace." Then, toward the end of the report, it changed the description of the "argentine beast" to an "puissant, antlered daemon, like that of the Malebolge." It said something about making its armor "as black as night, but tinted it as dusk for flavor." The report made no sense until it came upon the "blaze-colored plasma armament" he "entrusted" to this creature. "Plasma armament" was the cue. This report was on how Unicron altered Megatron.

Scourge quickly tapped the scrollbar on the screen with a talon, looking for the report on him. He briefly read something about "dislimning a sans-carbon arthropod" into "an equally sans-carbon chordate, a lagomorphic cataphract possessing two extra notocords." That obviously wasn't about him. But at least he learned that Cyclonus had three backbones. No wonder the guy was so stiff...

The next one was incredibly long, almost as long as the last two reports combined. And unfortunately for him, he couldn't understand it. Not only was it mostly composed of words he didn't know, Unicron's train of thought suddenly became much harder to follow. It's as if he tried to describe this one in greater detail for whatever reason. He could make out something about "an unfortunate, howbeit immienent contamination." The main subject had "vital parts in absentae," and Unicron had to borrow many parts from another creature who had been "utterly shattered." It was interesting to say the least, but it made him shiver. He really hoped it wasn't talking about him. But it had already mentioned Galvatron and Cyclonus...other than the two progenitor Sweeps, who else was there but him?

Scourge scrolled down to the bottom of the report, as, if he understood the pattern correctly, the resulting creature would be down there. He just hoped he could actually read the results. Well, they were indeed down there, and they did happen to be intelligible for the most part. The poor Decepticon that received system transplants became "a winged behemoth with talons on every digit, and with unparallel senses" that "commanded a legion of duplicates that will regenerate endlessly."

The hovercraft almost fell down after deciphering that line. It _was_ about him, after all. Sure, the two Sweeps could also be called "winged, taloned behemoths," but he was the only one "commanding" them. Well, sort of. He felt more like he commanded the replicants, but hoped the smart-assed replicators would do what he asked without having to bribe them. But it was still "commanding" in a sense.

So he was the "contaminated" one? He had been so battered that he to have multiple system transplants from somebody else? Just how many systems were used from that other guy? Hell, who _was_ the other guy, and just how worse off was he? He shivered again and crossed his arms. His fingers quivered in a mix disgust and fright, causing his nails to scratch off some of the paint. But he paid no mind to it; he was too busy trying to keep himself from losing consciousness. His dorsal vents opened, and rapidly drew in air.

But suddenly, his shock started to subside. Part of him, that little voice in the back of his mind again, told him it didn't matter and to just keep going. He wasn't here to find this out, and it was far too late to turn back now. He hesitated, however. What if he found out more that he was better off not knowing? Besides, he was still reeling a little bit. That's when the migrane from earlier started to come back. Not wanting a repeat of what happened outside, he instinctively touched the screen where his report was. He wasn't sure if that was the actual next step, but he had to try something.

The screen changed again and this time, a list was displayed. Fortunately for Scourge, the creeping pain in his processor started to die off, too. He opened his dorsal vents one last time and took in the equivalent of a deep breath before trying to read the screen again.

It said something about further changes to the selected specimen. So he _had_ entered his data correctly. Good to know. He assumed that this list must be the "further changes." Instinctively, he wanted to press every single thing on the list. However he couldn't, for he saw the word "di-zina" in several entries. That roughly translated to "downgrade," which was another thing that was low on his list for wanting. He searched around for anything with the entry "i-zina," or "upgrade." He only found one. "Reza i-zina," or "defense upgrade." Scourge felt a bit insulted at the single option, but at least there _was_ an option.

He tapped the screen by the entry. A little circle popped up next to the text. He scrolled down to see if there was anything else. He knew there was something he needed to look for that was very important. What he was supposed to be looking for was once again just out of reach. It annoyed him to no end. If he was here to search for a specific upgrade, how was he supposed find it if he couldn't even remember it? Knowing how his memory was acting lately, he'd probably remember it when he saw it.

If he had sinuses, Scourge would have snorted. But, he didn't. Instead, a short, gruff growl escaped his vocalizer. As much as the parallel disturbed him, he was starting to wonder if he was going mad like his commander after all. The symptoms were all there: an upgrade from Unicron, bizarre headaches, and voices in his head. He wondered if Galvatron had memories where he was in two places at once, too. Too bad he couldn't ask. But then again, maybe he could; he had already seen the unthinkable when he watched the cannon smack himself in the head. Perhaps a civil conversation was possible.

He snapped back to reality suddenly, as if somebody had just slapped him. It was as if a switch had been flipped in his head; the dull headache made it feel as if switch-flipping was literal.

There was nothing of too much interest on the list besides the defense upgrade. The miscellaneous alterations were simply changes in body size. He selected "increase body size" just on a whim. But there was nothing exciting such as an option to change his alt-mode to that of a giant flying fortress or whatnot. He scrolled down to the very bottom, just to make sure he didn't miss anything.

The last thing on the list was, "Skizza." When he saw it, he nearly jumped out of his exoskeleton. "Skizza" literally meant "separate." And it, this simple word on the screen, was what he came here for. It was this single, all-important option all along, was what his subconscious told him. The only thing to do now was to select this option, hit the "finish" button at the bottom of the screen, and...

Wait a minute! He snapped out of his semi-conscious daze and grabbed his hand before his pink claw reached the screen. Separate? Separate what from what?! The question boggled his mind.

Wait...could it be? Separate the donor systems from his original ones?

"But _that_ will _kill_ me!" Scourge cried aloud. Why had some feeling in the back of his head just lead him to nearly commit suicide?! It didn't make sense...

"Oh, Primus..." he groaned to himself as he crumpled to the floor on his knees. "...I really have gone mad, haven't I? I wonder if Galvatron went through any of this before his downfall? I thought it was the plasma roasting that did him in all this time, but I guess it wasn't... I wonder if Cyclonus will soon suffer the same fate...?"

He sat still for a moment on his knees giving the floor a long, depressed stare. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't help but wonder how bad it would get. How long would he be before he started yelling and shooting at people randomly? Or would he do something else entirely?

Out of the corner of his optics, he saw something on the monitor flash. Scourge glanced up out of curiousty. To his horror, he found his right hand touching the screen. How had _that_ happened? He never programmed his arm to continue hitting selections on the screen! He didn't know what was scarier: his arm seemingly developing a processor of its own, or not even feeling it.

"...All of a sudden, I'm unable to control my limbs?!" the hovercraft winced. "Well, there's no doubt about it now, is there? I've offically flipped..."

He tried to pull his arm away. The arm responded dully, going limp and sliding off away from the monitor. As it did, a claw touched a displayed button, advancing one more screen. Scourge found himself staring at the final screen of the enhancing program. It said that the manual setting had been turned on, and that the system was ready to customize the "specimen." The seleted customizations were the increase in defense and body size _and separation_. The final step was to "have the persented specimen stand on a button."

Scourge stood back up. Okay, the upgrade wouldn't go through as long as he didn't step on any buttons. He quickly scanned the floor. Lots of large tiles, including some square-shaped ones behind him, but no buttons. Of course for all he knew, a giant button would suddenly pop out of the floor. Maybe, _maybe_ there had been buttons around, but they were destroyed in the explosion a year ago. That was if he was lucky of course, and he knew from experience that he was not.

He tightly grasped his right arm with his left and held it against his side to keep it from causing anymore damage. Then, slowly, he backed away from the mainframe. He also kept a dorsal sensor online to scan for any movement on the floor. Sensing none, he kept a steady pace backward...

...Until he suddenly walked backward into a tremendous blast of heat! The surprise, searing heat burned him to his very core. It was as if he walked into a blast furnace. He screamed and writhed in agony from it, and tried to get away. Unfortunately, Scourge found himself stuck to the floor. His feet must have been welded to it, or something.

But how could this be?! He wasn't standing on a heat vent, nor were there any vents on the floor to begin with!

It was then that he found himself surrounded by darkness. Things had now gone from bad to worse to just creepy. But then, tiny strings of green light began to flash and dance around him. Green lights? Wait... He had seen something involving green lights in an unnaturally dark environment before, but where?

Now he remembered. His upgrade a year ago. The presence of these lights along with the darkness and the heat obviously meant that he had somehow triggered the reformatter. But how?! He hadn't stepped on any button!

Unless of course, he had mistranslated it. As his body went numb and his paint job was burned off, he remembered that the word used, "Rii-an," could either mean "button" or "tile" when used in context. The very last thing he remembered seeing was the floor through the gloom. The floor was mostly composed of long, grey metal planks. The one he stood on now was black and square-shaped, just like the components of the reformatting system.

And then the world went just as black as all those boxes.

---

The rider was just about to leave his vigil by the crater when he heard an angry roar come from below. He fell off his hoverbike once again.

"What? What's going on down there?" he said to himself.

He expected the worst; that the demon that had flown in somehow reactivated the body of the cursed meteorite. He ventured a bit into the crater, but the intense feeling of unease made him scurry back out. The rider watched the meteor intensely, curious as much as he was frightened.

What happened next made him fall down a third time.

Some sort of _dragon_ emerged from the meteor! At least, it resembled a dragon. A fusion of two dragons, to be more accurate. Even from this distance, he could tell that the giant creature had two snake-like heads, four arms, and four wings. The heads seemed to be yelling at each other, though he couldn't make out what they were saying. They also snapped at each other and bit at each other's long neck.

He was so shocked, he wasn't sure what to do then. On one hand he wanted to jump back on his bike, ride to the nearest town, and warn everybody about demons and dragons going in and out of the accursed space object. Of course, no one would probaably believe him if he did. On the other hand, he wanted to stay put and watch what this dragon was doing. He did ask himself what would he do if the dragon saw him and decided to make a meal out of him, but he didn't seem to care much.

Intrigue won over fear, and the man stayed put, watching the creature closely from this distance.

---

"GYAAAAAAAARRR!!! IT DIDN'T WORK! Unicron didn't separate us all the way!!"

Skywarp ranted and raved as he and Thudercracker moved their large, cumbersome body out of the wreckage. They now resembled serpentine creatures...saimese twin serpents, that is. They shared the torso and legs, but seemed to have everything else doubled. They had their own snake-like head and neck, but had four eyes apeice. Scourge's sensor needle topped both their heads. They had four arms which resembled Scourge's arms, except that the lower arms and hands ware freakishly huge. Four silver wings that looked exactly like Scourge's jutted out of their back. They even had two tails! Their shared components also looked like larger versions of Scourge's torso and legs. The only exception was the feet, which also sported exaggerated size compared to the rest of his leg, and which now had three pink, clawed toes instead of only one. The paint job was split down the middle; Skywarp's half was black while Thundercracker's half was dark blue.

"_It's not fair!_" Skywarp screamed again, punching Unicron's outermost shell with his upper-right fist. His voice sounded like Scourge's, but now had Skywarp's accent.

Thundercracker grunted scornfully. "Did you actually read what the report on us had said," he snapped, "or were you just _looking_ at it?!" His voice also sounded a lot like his former form, but much more gravelly.

"Of _course_ I didn't read it!" Skywarp shot back. "I wan't accepted at the Academy! I never learned the language!"

The dark blue serpent head groaned. "It said that when Unicron tried to reformat one of us, he found that vital parts were missing," he explained. "So, he used parts from the other, who was even more screwed up. Basically it means that, like I was telling you in the _first_ place, we're stuck like this, and if we _are_ completely separated, we'll die! You couldn't figure that out when I made the guy say, 'But that will kill me'?!"

"Oh, shuddap!" the black snake head spat. "When did you get to be so bitter, anyway?! I'm beginning to like it a lot better when, back in the day, you said nothin'!"

Thundercracker hauled off and nipped Skywarp inthe neck with his long, broad jaws. "When I got fused to a glitch-for-brains like _you_!" he barked. "I told you this was a bad idea, anyway!"

Skywarp immediately retaliated in the same fashion. "Yeah?!" he growled. "Well _you_ went along with it, too!"

The blue head tried to bite back, but Skywarp dodged him. Regardless, Thundercracker said, "Well at least _I_ tried to back out when I realized it was impossible! _You're_ the one who kept pushin' the guy foward with those headaches! You almost made him think he was insane!"

"_Me_?! He wouldn't have been thinkin' he was goin' crazy if you hadn't kept holdin' him back by scarin' him! It's _your_ fault, too!"

"Don't you try to turn this around!"

The serpent heads snapped and bit at each other until a they heard a demanding voice come over their radio.

"Scourge? Scourge! Where are you?!"

They nearly jumped. They quickly forgot their fight and shared anxious looks.

"Aw slag, it's the giant talking petrorabbit!" Skywarp whispered. "What're we gonna do?!"

"Just let me handle it," Thundercracker replied. "I sound more like the guy, so hopefully he won't notice." He moved his lower left arm over to his mouth and spoke into the radio.

"Yes, Cyclonus?"

"Scourge?" Cyclonus' voice sounded perplexed. "Your voice sounds strange. You haven't been trying Galvatron's tobacco-based smokes, have you?"

Skywarp snickered. "Sure he didn't notice!" the black head almost burst out laughing.

Thundercracker reached over with his free upper arm and clamped Skywarp's snout down. "Quiet!" he hissed. He turned back to his radio and said, "No, no. I haven't been taking up smoking. I...guess it's just radio interference."

"Is someone there with you?" Cyclonus asked. "I thought I heard another voice in the background..."

"N-no...no one's here!" Thundercracker shot his muted partner a poisonous glare.

"Anyway, where are you?! We've been looking all over for you! Let's just say that Galvatron is hardly pleased about this...!"

"Um...I uh...I just caught some Autobot spies snoopin' around and decided to chase 'em off. That's all."

"Spies? You found _spies_?! Why didn't you radio us about it earlier?!"

"Well, um...you see...the spies had some friends and I wound up in a little shoot-out with them. So I was kind of busy..."

"...You actually won a gunfight with a bunch of Autobots all by yourself? I find that hard to believe..."

"W-well, they were a bunch of cocky rookies! They were hardly much trouble to drive off..."

"Fine, fine. Whatever the situation is and where ever you are, just get back here. We need you."

"For what? Are we going to launch another assault, or something?"

"Yes and no. Look, I don't have time to explain it to you over the radio...just get over here, and you'll see for yourself."

"Well,...alright."

"Glad to hear he ain't mad about us sneakin' off," Skywarp whispered.

"Oh yes, I almost forgot," Cyclonus' voice continued. "Afterward we'll have to see about retribution for your going AWOL. But since you managed to chase off some spies, perhaps it won't be as harsh..."

"You _had_ to open your mouth?!" Thundercracker snarled at the other head.

"What was that?!" Cyclonus' voice blared over the radio.

"Uh! Nothing!" Thundercracker cried. "Nothing at all! Probably just interference!"

"...Riiight," the lagomorph mumbled over the radio. "Over and-"

Cyclonus was cut off by an all too familiar voice shouting in the background, "Are you done yet?! Where is that lousy deserter?! When I get my hands on him I'll...!"

"_Out_!" The internal radio clicked as the transmission ended abruptly.

"Ohhhh great...," Thundercracker moaned. "This day just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? I can just _imagine_ Galvatron's reaction when he sees us..."

"Hmm...well...," Skywarp said, looking thoughtful. "Remember we saw him smack himself over the head, yesterday?"

"Yes, what about it?"

"Well, I'm sure he wouldn't be happy if news of it ever leaked out, riiiiight?"

"Are you saying we _blackmail_ him?! Yeah, that might be a good idea if the guy wasn't able to _kill us easily_!"

"Well, we _did_ get that defense upgrade..."

"I don't care! Last time I went along with one of your plans, I wound up like this! I mean, I don't even think this body can transform!"

"Will you shaddup already?! At least we don't share a mind anymore..."

"Yeah, but at what cost...?"

"Look, can we talk about this later? I can't fly and argure with you at the same time...!"

They were only hovering about a foot off the ground right now. Since getting back to base as soon as possible was probably the best choice at the moment, Thundercracker curbed his frustration so that they could take off.

But it all flared back up again as soon as Skywarp muttered under his breath, "Man...when I get back, the first thing I wanna do is pay that Sweep punk back in spades. Who the slag does he think he is makin' that comment about my face?!"

"You'll do no such thing," Thundercracker growled.

"What?! Hey! I wasn't talkin' to you, TC!" Skywarp cried.

"I know, but do you wanna get us in even more trouble by smackin' that creep around?!" the blue head argued. "He probably knows by now that we're up to our cranial units in trouble. He'll probably use that to his advantage if we knock him on his skidplate!"

"Yeah, right...! Like anybody would care?!"

"Oh, I'm sure he could cause us trouble somehow. Our luck's already proven to be slag to begin with, and it sure isn't gettin' any better!"

"Look, I can't concentrate on flyin' with you yellin' at me!"

"I'll quit arguin' with ya if you'd keep your big mouth shut!"

"Big mouth?! I'll give _you_ a big mouth!"

*snap!*

"OW! Why you sonova retro rat-!"

*snap!*

"Take this!"

*snap, snap, snap!*

Their bickering continued on in this fashion until the unfortunate pair reached the planet's orbit. After all, no one can hear you insult them in space. But that's what internal radioes are for.

---

The rider was absolutely glued to his spot of sand. He watched all of the dragon's peculiar behavior like a hawk. He watched the snapping matches, the bizzare time when one head seemed to be "talking" to one of its arms, and the awkward flight take-off. He even sat there and watched it fly away until he simply could not see it anymore.

For a moment, he could just sit there, silent and utterly bewildered. The past half an hour had been the strangest he had ever experienced thus far. A strage flying machine had landed by a meteorite that had been thought to be cursed, suddenly turns into a giant, winged demon, disappears into said meteor, then comes out later as a two-headed dragon? Right now, he was wondering if this was all a dream and when he would wake up.

But the environs didn't fade away, and he didn't find himelf in his bed back in his hut. So obviously, he hadn't been dreaming. Could it have been a mirage? The desert does that to people after all...

Well, if what had just happened was real or imagined the fact remained that the groceries weren't going to pay for themselves and send themselves over to his home. Trying to shake it off, he stood up and went back to his bike. He hopped on, tried to start the engine.

Between clicks from the bike's engine, he thought he heard somebody laugh. It was a sinster laugh from a very deep male voice far in the distance.

It was then that the engine started up. Though he had almost convinced himself by now that all he had just seen was some sort of illusion, he tried to drive away from the crater as fast as possible...just in case.

  
  


AUTHOR'S NOTE: I did not exactly make up this particular theory of Decepticon evolution, nor do I actually believe in it. I'm just the one who ran with it. I got the idea for it when I heard a friend of mine say something in a message board thread about the reformatted 'Cons sans Galvy would probably all have features/attributes of all six of the originals. Also, in the TFU profiles and on the back of the movie box, it simply says they were made of "parts of dead Decepticons." I know it breaks canon because we only saw one Seeker get reformatted into Scourge in the movie. I tried using that as my argument not to actually write it when the idea came to me, but I simply did not listen to myself. It was one of those things where you got the idea and just _had_ to write it for no good reason. This is the result. Ow, my free time! :p


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